she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
