Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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