Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
