i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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