So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
