I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize