I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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