There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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