I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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