at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
