Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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