So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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