if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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