i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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