My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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