oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
