U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
