By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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