so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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