ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
