NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
