I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize