Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
