She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
