Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
