If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
