I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
