Just took my morning after pill in the library
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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