I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Randomize
