Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
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PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
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How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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