chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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