ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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