you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
