Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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