who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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