I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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