Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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