just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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