My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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