I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
