I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize