you guys were way drunker than both of me
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
