Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
