So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
