and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We're too hungover to prance.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
