You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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