you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
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I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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