how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she pinky promised me she was 18
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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