I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
