i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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