i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
