So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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