I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
