she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Enjoy the penises
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
