there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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