everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
