Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Boobs speak an international language.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
pray to the hookup gods
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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