Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
