Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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