since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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