we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He better not be in your backpack
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
