I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
