New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
In America we eat man semen.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
