You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
